


The one that stayed

by Winter_is_here



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Related, F/M, Heavy Angst, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Incest, Jealous Jon Snow, Jealousy, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Canon Compliant, One-Sided Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 11:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18799429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_is_here/pseuds/Winter_is_here
Summary: "So you are with Podrick because cause it's easy?" He said incredulously, feeling his will die with each word."What's wrong with easy? Maybe it's easy because it's right."





	The one that stayed

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kind of sort of inspired by a quote on Gossip Girl.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy...
> 
>  
> 
> PD. I wrote this at 3 am and I do not have a beta... So if you find any mistakes please tell me.

Jon saw Sansa sit down with the Hound and smile at him, a soft one he hadn't received in a long time. Overall, it was distracting, disturbing and he wasn’t sure he would be able to stomach very much of it anymore. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt deeply unsettling.

And then Sansa left, she gave the Hound a slight nod, another smile and just left. And, as she strode across the room and quickly exited the hall, Jon's eyes followed her and he couldn't help but realize she went after Podrick.

The squire had left with not one, but two girls who had seem quite charmed by him. Jon had no doubt the girls had offered themselves to him and, surely enough, the new war hero had accepted. The question was why did Sansa go straight after them the second they left, he couldn't imagine any reason why she would care unless... But she couldn't.

Jon knew that she was free to pursue any  _activities_ she wanted to, and with whoever she wanted to; but he just couldn't squish his need to stop whatever he was already imagining.

He had heard the rumors about Arya and Gendry's own _activities_ and for the life of him he couldn't undestand why he wasn't meddling in Arya's life but he currently found himself wandering around in the castle looking for Sansa. Technically he knew this was hypocrisy, but he was currently attempting to convince himself he was just trying to protect his sister because unlike Arya, Sansa didn't knew how to wield a sword.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder:Where they just being secretive about they relationship so he wouldn't meddle? Was there even a relationship or was he been paranoid?

He was slowly and steadily growing more and more impatient as he turned corner after corner and couldn't find her, couldn't find them. Until he did, and how does he wishes he hadn't.

"The distraction worked just as you said my lady, the girls you sent were very nice and said they were loyal to you"

"Sansa, Pod, Sansa. I've told you numerous times that after all this time, what you've helped me through. You deserve to call me Sans, just Sansa"

"I think you'll never be 'just' of anything Sansa" Said Podrick as he closed the distance between them and passionately kissed her.

It took everything ofJon not to storm in and stop it. But he knew he had no right, and that Sansa would probably lost whatever little respect she still had for him the moment he barged in. So he left and decided to wait for her in her solar, while finally admitting to himself the reason why it bothered him so much.

As the soft crackling fire warmed his body but not his heart he kept up trying to drink his sadness away. It was well past midnight, when he heard her re-enter her chambers. And for a second he allowed the relief of Sansa actually coming back, to wash over him. But then he saw her undone messy hair, pink flushed cheeks and a little smile gleaming of pure joy in her face that he hadn’t seen in quite a while.

"Sansa?" He said, with a tone that not only betrayed his tiredness and sadness, but his drunkenness.

She startled at his presence and with a sigh asked "What are you doing here Jon?"

"I saw you, heard you, with Podrick" He involuntary provided before truly thinking before speaking.

Sansa stared at him incredulously as she said "He's a good man..." but, once again he couldn't hold his tongue.

"Did you have sex with him?" If looks could kill he was sure no witch would have been able to bring him back from this one, so he tried to amend "I realize it's not my place to tell you who to be with, but as your..."

"You're right" she said looking at him with an ice-cold expression "it really is not your place to tell me _anything_ about my romantic choices"

He felt heart slowing but surely breaking.

"I’m just concerned"

“Concerned about what Jon? You don't seem so concerned about Arya and the newly appointed Lord of Storms End. Why does my choices in partner do make you _so_ _concerned_?"

Jon felt as if his world just crumbled the moment she said partner.

“So you _are_ **with** him”

"Yes. Yes I am"

"Oh" was al he could say as he envisioned Sansa's future, without him in it.

"He and Brienne protected me when no one else could, they stayed with me after they needed to, after I was already safe. He's kind, gentle and strong Jon, and I'm sorry but I deserve to love the person that stayed"

He frowned "Everything I did I did it for you, for our family, for the North! You don't get to decide that I'm unworthy just because I did what had to be done"

"No! You do not get to act like I didn't fight for you Jon. I did. Hard, and for a long time. I asked you if you loved her and you told me yes."

"This has nothing to do with..."

"But it does! You are the one that turned this into an issue. And for the record I asked you, I begged you to stay! And you said no"

"I we both know I had to go! I had to bend the knee"

"But did you have to fuck her?" She said and that stopped him right on his tracks. The feelings that he now understood had not been a figment of his imagination and that he had tried to suppress by being with what he now knew was his aunt where coming to push him to the ground once again.

So he finally accepted that whatever he'd been trying to hide from her, whatever he was attempting to suppress, was most definitely exposed by now, that she knew, that she had probably always known so he decided to face the truth.

"I love you, I did in Castle Black and I still do now and I'm sorry I hurt you but at the time I thought it was for the best"

"It was. So please forgive me if I've moved on. Forgive me if I don't want to do it anymore. Forgive me if now that everything has been said and done and we're over, I'm exhausted."

"So you are with Podrick because cause it's easy?" He said incredulously, feeling his will die with each word.

"What's wrong with easy? Maybe it's easy because it's right." she said, calming herself down as she broke his heart. 

Eyeing him closely she added "He saved me Jon"

He hated the pity in her eyes as she deliveredtthe final blow "I know we are in war, but when this is all over we will need to rebuild, to keep the Starks alive… You out of anyone should understand how hard it is for me to trust, and Podrick is someone I can trust"

And he knew. He should clearly see it now, little Starks running around Winterfell, laughing and playing like his family once did. He imagined Sansa and Podrick ruling together, growing together, healing together. He saw them in the Lords chambers building their own castle, stone by stone. He saw Bran in the Godwood and Arya in the training yard and he, he couldn't find himself anywhere. 

"You are planning on marrying him?" She smiled at him.

"He's of a lower rank you know? He'd take the name Stark, our children would be Starks"

"But…?" She shook her head and looked at him as if he was a stupid child.

"I'm not marrying him tomorrow Jon, but he's a good option, he's a good man, he will protect me and I'm just saying right now he makes me happy. "

He felt like an absolute prick, he broke her heart, tried to pretend he felt nothing and now that she had moved on he was trying to make her stop.

"Oh" Was all he could say as he watched the woman he loved slip through his fingers.

After a long uncomfortable silence he finally said "It's late, I'm sorry for bothering you. Good night Sansa"

"Good night Jon"

That night Sansa let herself cry to sleep, without knowing, on the other side of the castle Jon tired, regretful, drunk and heartbroken was doing the same.


End file.
